It’s been awhile since I’ve done any reviews or posts. My laptop has about as many issues as I do so I have to use my cell phone to post for the time being. I find it beyond frustrating. With that being said, I thought I’d quickly give my very valued opinions on some horror movies I recently watched on demand just in case anyone is considering renting a movie but wondering what may be worth paying for and what’s uh-uh, no way.
1~ The Girl on the Train (2016)
I never read the book but knew who the killer was almost immediately. I found myself confused and bored at times. Not nearly as good as Gone Girl. Kind of had a Lifetime movie feel to it. Watch worthy? Nah, you’re better off watching an actual Lifetime movie, at least those are super entertaining.
2~ 31 A Rob Zombie Film (2016)
Being a fan of Rob Zombie’s movies, I really wanted to love 31 but unfortunately I didn’t. On the bright side, I didn’t hate it either. Sherri Moon Zombie’s hair was super distracting. Honestly, I couldn’t focus on anything but her head if she was in the scene. Watch worthy? Yes if you’re a fan of Rob Zombie’s films. Oh, and if you’re not superficial like me and can get past the hair thing.
3~ Meet the Blacks (2016)
Technically it may not be considered a “horror” movie, but Meet the Blacks is the best spoof comedy I have ever seen. I laughed-cried through the whole movie. Perfect for potheads like myself, just the right amount of stoopid humor. Watch worthy? Hell yeah, a bunch of times.
4~ The Purge Election Year (2016)
Not nearly as horrifying as the most recent real election. (insert rimshot) Seriously though, it was my least favorite of the franchise and they should quit while they’re still ahead. Watch worthy? Real life is scary enough, wait 4yrs.
5~ Blair Witch 2016
In the 90’s there were those who loved The Blair Witch Project and those who hated it, I was one of those people who loved it. With that being said, there is nothing new or scary in this third installment. And frankly I’ve been over the shaky camera found footage films since, well, the original Blair Witch. Watch worthy? Eh, if you’ve seen every other recent scary movie and this is all you have left, then might as well.
6~ The Green Inferno (2013)
I keep giving Eli Roth chance after chance because I really like Hostel 1 and 2 but I definitely wasn’t feeling The Green Inferno that’s for sure. I was obviously expecting gratuitous gore which I’m not the biggest fan of, but besides that, the movie just flat-out sucked balls, literally. Haha. It tried to be funny at times (like me), but it’s just an all around bad movie. Watch worthy? Oh hell no, nuh-uh, nope, don’t do it.